When a child is removed from home, almost everything familiar disappears at once: parents, bedroom, school, neighborhood, friends. For many children, a brother or sister is the one piece of home that could come with them. Yet in foster care, siblings are routinely placed in different homes, sometimes in different towns, and some lose contact entirely. Isabel Stasa, who entered care at 13 with two younger siblings, was placed apart from them, never reunified with them, and only reconnected with one of them years later through a chance meeting at a restaurant; the sibling had been adopted, moved away, and given a different name (Tiano). Stories like hers are common. Separating siblings in foster care deepens the trauma children already carry, makes their placements less stable, and removes one of the few lasting relationships they could have relied on when they age out of the system and face adulthood alone.

Sibling separation is not rare; it is the norm. The federal government does not systematically track whether siblings in foster care live together, so exact numbers are hard to come by (Wojciak et al.). The most often cited estimate holds that while most youth in foster care have siblings, between 53 and 80 percent are separated from their brothers and sisters (Tiano). A nationally representative study of 152 adolescents in foster care found that nearly three in four were living apart from their sibling. Among those separated, about 72 percent saw their sibling once a month or less, and almost 30 percent reported having no contact at all (Wojciak et al.). For many children, then, entering foster care does not just mean losing their parents for a time. It can mean losing their siblings as well.

Most separations are not the result of a decision that siblings are better apart. They happen because the system lacks room. Child welfare agencies point to several recurring barriers: too few foster homes with space for several children, siblings who enter care at different times, and siblings with wide age gaps or very different needs (Tiano). Teenagers face an extra hurdle, since fewer families are willing to take an older child, let alone an older child with younger brothers and sisters; Stasa recalled that because of her age, finding any home was hard, and finding one for all three of them was harder still (Tiano). Money plays a role too. Foster parents are generally paid only when a child is placed with them, so families have little reason to hold beds open for a large sibling group that may arrive later (Tiano). As Representative Zach Nunn, an adoptive parent of siblings, put it, the main obstacle is not willingness but capacity (Tiano).

For a child who has been abused or neglected, a sibling is often the most important relationship left. A brother or sister shares the same history, remembers the same home, and can offer a sense of continuity when everything else changes. Losing that connection adds a second grief on top of the first. Researchers describe it as a kind of ambiguous loss, where a sibling is physically gone but still present in the child’s mind, a situation that can increase stress, confusion, depression, and anxiety. Youth separated from siblings may also lose part of their sense of identity, self-esteem, and safety (Wojciak et al.).

The research also shows what a strong sibling bond can do. In the same national study, adolescents who had positive relationships with their siblings showed fewer internalizing symptoms, such as depression and anxiety, after trauma, meaning the sibling relationship helped buffer the harm. Youth who had more contact with their siblings also said they got along with them better (Wojciak et al.). Keeping siblings together also appears to make placements more stable. A study of 2,297 children in one urban county found that children placed with at least one sibling were less likely to move to a new home, especially the kind of move caused by problems in the foster home. The link was even stronger for Black children (Font and Kim). Fewer moves mean fewer new schools, fewer lost friends, and fewer chances for a child to feel unwanted.

The cost of separation becomes even clearer when youth age out. More than 15,000 young people leave foster care each year without a permanent family, and they face high risks of homelessness, unemployment, and incarceration (“What Happens”). At 18, caseworkers and foster parents often step back, but siblings are relationships that can last a lifetime. Research suggests those relationships matter. A study of 170 recently emancipated foster youth examined whether living with siblings during care was linked to how they were doing as young adults in school, work, housing, relationships, and civic life, and it found that sibling co-placement was associated with greater competence in these key tasks of early adulthood (Richardson and Yates). In other words, a brother or sister who stayed close through foster care can be part of the safety net that young adults so often lack.

When siblings are separated and lose touch, that safety net is gone. Some, like Stasa, try to rebuild the relationship as adults, only to find it changed. She described her relationship with the sibling she found again as fractured and different from what it had been when they were children (Tiano). A young adult aging out without parents, without a stable home, and without the brothers and sisters who shared their childhood faces adulthood more alone than almost anyone.

The law already recognizes that siblings belong together. The Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008 requires states to make reasonable efforts to place siblings in the same home and, when that is not possible, to arrange frequent visits or other contact unless doing so would harm one of the children (Wojciak et al.). The same law requires states to find and notify relatives when children enter care, which matters because relatives are more likely to take in siblings regardless of age or special needs, and those placements tend to last (Tiano). Advocates say the problem is that these protections are not consistently enforced from state to state (Tiano).

New ideas could close the gap. In April 2026, Representatives Don Bacon, Zach Nunn, and Gwen Moore introduced the Protecting Relationships in Foster Care Act, which would provide $10 million over five years for up to five pilot projects focused on keeping groups of three or more siblings together and tracking their outcomes (Tiano). Advocates have proposed paying retainer stipends so foster families with extra space can hold beds open for large sibling groups, along with higher payments and help with housing, transportation, and mental health care for families who take in brothers and sisters together (Tiano). When siblings must live apart, agencies can still protect the bond through regular visits, phone and video calls, shared events, and sibling camps, and by making sure adoptive families commit to keeping siblings in touch.

Foster care is meant to protect children from harm, but separating siblings causes a harm of its own. It takes away the one relationship that could carry a child through removal, new homes, and new schools, and it leaves many young people to face aging out without the family members who knew them best. The research is consistent: siblings who stay together or stay connected tend to have more stable placements, better mental health, and stronger footing as young adults. Lily Colby, founder of the National Network for Fostering Sibling Connections, summed it up simply: keeping siblings together changes lifetime outcomes, and so does separating them (Tiano). Enforcing existing laws, recruiting and supporting homes for sibling groups, and protecting contact when separation cannot be avoided would give thousands of children something the system too often takes away: each other.

Works Cited

Font, Sarah A., and Hyun Woo Kim. “Sibling Separation and Placement Instability for Children in Foster Care.” Child Maltreatment, vol. 27, no. 4, 2022, pp. 583–95, https://doi.org/10.1177/10775595211012482.

Richardson, Sabrina M., and Tuppett M. Yates. “Siblings in Foster Care: A Relational Path to Resilience for Emancipated Foster Youth.” Children and Youth Services Review, vol. 47, pt. 3, 2014, pp. 378–88, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2014.10.015.

Tiano, Sara. “Federal Bill Aims to Address Sibling Separation in Foster Care.” The Imprint, 29 Apr. 2026, imprintnews.org/top-stories/federal-bill-aims-to-address-sibling-separation-in-foster-care/274283.

“What Happens to Youth Aging Out of Foster Care?” The Annie E. Casey Foundation, 11 Sept. 2026, www.aecf.org/blog/what-happens-to-youth-aging-out-of-foster-care.

Wojciak, Armeda Stevenson, et al. “Sibling Relationships and Internalizing Symptoms of Youth in Foster Care.” Children and Youth Services Review, vol. 35, no. 7, 2013, pp. 1071–77, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2013.04.021.